Pity Party: WHOOPIE!

Have you had one of those days when you wake from a self-pity trance and realize you've eaten the side of a cow?  Or a barrel worth of Ben & Jerrys?  Or a pig's trough worth of raw cookie dough?  That you've microwaved two packages of bacon and eaten the greasy strips by the fistful?

So while you were feeling low and blue before your transfat bacchanal, you're now repulsed by your lack of restraint and cursing yourself for not having any decent reading material on hand when you have to pay the intestinal piper.

One way to alleviate some of your self disgust is by actually taking the time to bake you own feast of despair.  For one thing, you are being industrious and creative.  That helps a little with the depression.  And you're proud of what you've accomplished, so you're entitled to enjoy the fruits of your own labor.  And you won't let any of it go wasted.  As a matter of principal.  You'll still feel like crap but you won't be as down on yourself as you'd be if you'd ordered a three tier wedding cake and eaten the entire thing by yourself during a Real World marathon.

This is a particularly good recipe for a pity party.  It's a fancier version of a Whoopie Pie but just as ugly.  There are copious amounts of dark chocolate in the recipe, a known mood elevator.  And there's a marshmallow filling.  You can make that yourself too.  But at this point, once you've made the damn cookies, it won't take anything away from the whole experience if you just crack open a can of Fluff and shovel it on.

whoopie pies
WARNING!  These aren't your typical whoopie, where the you've got soft cake sandwiching the creamy stuff inside.  These are crunchy cookies that help get out the pity when you crunch down!


1 cup all purpose flour
1/2 cup unsweetened Dutch process cocoa powder.  The darker the better.
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
8 ounces bittersweet chocolate coarsely chopped
1 cup chopped toffee pieces (Scor bars are perfect)
1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter
1 cup sugar
2 large eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

-Preheat oven to 325.  Whisk together flour, cocoa powder, baking soda and salt.  Set aside.

-Melt chocolate with the butter in a metal bowl over a pan of simmering water.

-Put chocolate mixture, sugar, eggs and vanilla in a mixing bowl fit with a paddle attachment.  Mix on medium until combined.  Reduce speed and slowly add flour mixture.  Fold in toffee bits.

-Using a 1 1/2 inch scoop, scoop dough and place on a parchment lined pan 2 inches apart.  Bake about 15 minutes.  Cookies will flatten and crack a bit.  Let cook and then dump a wad of Fluff on one and sandwich with a second.  

It's going to get messy when you eat this.  But who the hell cares what you look like at this point.  You're wallowing in self-pity as it is.  You might as well get covered in chocolate and marshmallow for good measure.

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